Fear as a Mom with Migraine: Being a Mom with Chronic Illness is Hard
I have fear as a mom with migraine. I am afraid for myself and for them. Being a mom with chronic illness is really hard!
I’m Afraid of Migraine
- While in the throes of an attack
- That the pain will never stop
- That it could possibly get worse when I was already experiencing something I didn’t think I could handle
- That I was experiencing brain damage that would be life-altering
- That I wouldn’t make it out alive…literally my worst fear
As a Migraine Mom, I Fear
- I won’t be able to be there when they need me
It’s not that I never valued myself before I had children but it just didn’t dawn on me my importance in the world. When I was younger I felt invincible and thought that I would outgrow my migraines or a cure would be found. As an adult, I was only responsible for myself. Once my babies came, my world got flipped upside down. I was now responsible for these beautiful lives that I had created and no matter how sick I was, they would still need me.
Being a Mom with Chronic Illness
- Trying to be super mom and failing
I don’t want them to see me bawled up on the couch screaming, or throwing up and crawling to my bed. I don’t want them to see me cry, see me in pain or see me as anything but their protector. As a stay-at-home mom, it isn’t easy for me to have other people take care of my kids. Giving over my role is difficult and something I don’t like to do.
I’m fortunate enough to know that they are always well taken care of and loved but as I lay in my room I am striving to get better for them. They don’t deserve a sick mom and I don’t intend on being one. I started taking care of myself and monitoring more closely once I had them. Although they have many who love them, no one loves them as I do and they will never love anyone as they love me. Everyone needs a mother and it’s my fear that I won’t be able to be there when they need me.
Fear of Genetics
- Possibility passing migraine on to them
With tears streaming down my face I can say that I lay in bed most nights fearing that it resides inside them waiting to attack. Never leave me alone in a car because I will inevitably be bawling by the time I get to my destination. While some women wonder what their sweet baby will look like while they are pregnant, I begged God not to give my babies migraine. My grandmothers had them, my mother had them and I have been cursed with them.
I started getting them when I was 5 and my daughter turns 4 at the end of the month. I’ve already talked to her pediatrician and my neurologist about my fears.
Facing my Migraine Fears
- Knowledge is power
- Research about anti-inflammatory foods or migraine diets that help and major trigger foods to avoid other than my own.
- Cooking clean and healthy for my entire family and read the labels on the foods that we buy carefully.
- Teaching them good habits and choices when it comes to health.
- Hoping that living defensively will help.
I can’t change my children’s DNA or brains, but I want them to learn how to be healthy and build strong bodies and minds.
I’m on a journey of healthful living to contain the neurological disease the best I can for both my children and my future. I’ve turned my fear into motivation…..but don’t get me wrong, I’m crying because I’m scared!
What Gives you Fear as a Mom with Migraine?